Crazy Aunt Kate Tells It Like It Is

Report # 2: Security Issues

Hello Fellow Readers and Blog Contributors,

Richard has kindly offered me some more space to give a “tell-all” account of my recent stay with the Wellington Branch of the Lord-Monteath Family.

But first, some administrative details: my thanks to those of you who gave favourable comments after my last blog effort (August, 2006). My thanks also to those of you who responded to Richard’s comment at the end, particularly those who have called my 021 KNOCK ME UP number – due to the large number of responses I have not yet been able to contact you all, but I assure you I will be in touch soon. After some preliminary screening by a selection panel, successful applicants will be asked to take part in an interview process.

But now, onto business. My stay with Denali, Richard and Sophie this time was under the auspices of “needing to go to a course” – however my true intention was, once again, to run young Sophie through some tests to check her development, and to make sure Richard and Denali aren’t messing her up too much.

Sophie is still very cute. Denali has abandoned the Gaelic language programme that I implemented last time I visited, but has now turned Sophie’s attention to other texts that seem to interest her more.

Sophie is now reading Hebrew, which I am very impressed with considering she is only 5 months old, and has also expressed an interest in studying “Kamas” (an extinct language of Southern Siberia, examples of usage found until 18th-19th c. AD.). Once again, I am impressed.

Sophie seems to have developed a slight attitude problem, however.

On numerous occasions, Sophie chose to show her contempt at our efforts to play with her and make her giggle by spraying our faces with saliva – while laughing at us! Whilst we acted all “shocked and surprised”, it was actually very cute – and it’s not like baby-spit is really gross. Sophie can’t shock us – we still maintain the upper hand.

I chose to also test the various security measures that Richard and Denali might be employing in order to stop clucky friends and relatives from stealing Sophie and taking her home. I have to say that I was initially disappointed by the lack of a robust system. As shown in the photographic evidence I have included with this blog-entry, I was actually able to attempt to put Sophie into my suitcase… something that should not have surprised Richard and Denali, because I have certainly expressed this desire to them verbally.

I was pleasantly surprised, however, by the strategy that they do seem to have adopted – to keep feeding and growing Sophie so that she no longer fits inside a suitcase! Fortunately for them, my suitcase is now too small to fit both Sophie and my toilet bag, so Sophie was left behind.

And so my findings have once again proved beyond any doubt that Richard and Denali continue to be excellent parents, and are unselfishly gifting the world with an adorable young girl. What a pair of troopers – you are a credit to our nation.

- Crazy Aunt Kate

p.s. Watch out for my next report, coming mid November.