Some analogies are as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Anyway, this week's TOP 10 is...
TOP 10 lame analogies found in highschool exam papers.
10. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
9. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
6. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
5. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
4. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
3. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
2. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
1. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
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