and Able to Melt Adult Hearts with a Single Smile –
Fresh from a couple of days with Wellington Branch of the Lord family, I feel it is my duty to provide everyone with a review of my stay – and particularly, a review of the girl we have been hearing so much of…. Sophie Lily Kate Lord.
For those who don’t know me, I’m Sophie’s “Crazy Aunt Kate” –a title bestowed upon me due to my willingness to perform such duties as: feeding Sophie too much sugar before returning her to her parents; losing her at the zoo; teaching her rude words; and generally corrupting her. Don’t expect this to be one of those ‘sugar-coated, I’m-sure-she-was-paid-to-say-that’ reviews… I will be revealing the nitty-gritty of life with the world’s cutest baby (I mean that objectively, of course).
I was welcomed at Wellington Airport by Denali and Sophie. Sophie was suitably tucked into her carseat, wrapped in safety equipment. It was fantastic to see Denali – beautiful as always – and so good to see that there really is a new baby, not just an elaborate ruse. While I was disappointed we weren’t planning to go to the Zoo, I am sure there will be plenty of time for that later. Once we were home, I was able to give Sophie plenty of cuddles and quality time with Crazy Aunt Kate. Strangely, Denali always seemed closeby... I’m sure she trusts me….
Sophie and I were able to grab some moments alone, and I was able to embark on the rigorous testing strategy that I had planned. We needed to cover the basics: physical agility; academic ability; social skills; and general knowledge. From there we could teach her some more advanced skills, including: Beethoven’s Hallelujah Chorus; calculating Pi to 1000 decimal places; speaking Gaelic; and auditioning for the New Zealand Royal Ballet Company.
To summarise, I can gladly report that Sophie is very advanced in all these areas. She communicates very well, and was able to tell me long and imaginative stories. She is a master of comedic timing, although she only speaks one language: Baby. If only we could also speak Baby… clearly she is more intelligent than all of us. I was pleased to hear that there is a scheduled time when Richard teaches Sophie the Periodic Table of the Elements, however I used that timeslot to run her through some algebra and quadratic equations. She’s a natural Math-lete. She is also very musical, and enjoyed my tuneful rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” when she came to visit me this morning soon after I woke up (apparently drinking a cup of tea while a baby invades your bed in the morning is a Lord Family tradition).
But seriously now, Sophie is a wee gem and her parents are taking good care of her. My favourite moment? Saturday morning – Denali had popped her into my bed for Morning Snuggles, and she made all kinds of cute faces and sounds while I sang to her and made weird faces in return. But suddenly she was over it – her little face screwed up and went red like it might explode, and she started making noises that were far less ‘melodic’ and more ‘full-throated scream’. I took Sophie into the living room so Denali could continue having her shower in peace! Holding the little crying baby firmly in my arms, I gently rocked her and assured that her Crazy Aunt Kate was there for her… and she went to sleep, a warm wee bundle in my arms. It was the most adorable thing ever, and I will remember to retell the story on her 21st Birthday.
Babies are cute – I want one. But don’t go telling everyone.
Much Love, Kate.
If you would like to provide 'Crazy Aunt Kate' with a child, then please call the following number: 021-KNOCK-ME-UP.
-Rich
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